雅思写作9分范文实例及点评

发布时间:2015-05-28 15:42:21 来源:苏州朗阁培训中心 编辑:苏州朗阁小编
  雅思写作9分范文实例及点评。Children who grow up in families which are short of money are betterprepared to deal

  雅思写作9分范文实例及点评。Children who grow up in families which are short of money are betterprepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children who are broughtup by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Some feel thatthe children of low income families are better equipped to deal withdifficulties posed by the ‘real world’ when they grow up and they also believethe privileged children of wealthy families are less fit to deal with thesedifficulties . The implications and veracity of this argument seem self-evident,but in fact require closer examination. ( 58words )

 

雅思写作9分范文实例及点评

相关推荐:苏州雅思写作十大失败开头总结

 

  点评:

  1+ 1 ’ 模式,最后 1 句为主题句。此段的主题句稍微有点特殊,它的确否定了前面所提到的观点,从而表达出了自己的观点,此外还引出了下文。

 

英国留学热门大学雅思要求有哪些?

 

  特别是最后半句:but in fact require closer examination ,感觉是在抛砖引玉。

  The popular wisdom is that children of poorer families learn early on thevalue of a buck, and are thus naturally better suited to stretching moneywhentimes get tough in adulthood. Inversely, the children of wealthy families,thoseborn with a silver spoon in their mouths, are believed to be completelyignorant of the value of money, having had everything provided for them in theiryouth and oftentimes erroneously expecting the same situation in adulthood. Theyare believed to be prone to overspending and financial irresponsibility. Thisbelief, though logical, overlooks one key point which is , of course, education.(100words)

  点评:

  1 ’ +3 模式,第 1 句是主题句。请注意,从此段的内容来看,这是个让步段(即分析自己并不赞成的观点)。虽然 4段论的作文的主体段是两面讨论,但是小编还是喜欢这样的写作,即主体段的观点还是有侧重的,把让步段放在前面,最后 1句话引出下一段,这样过度地很自然,而且自己的观点也比较明确!

  The basis of this argument is , of course, knowing the value of money, andthe idea that children of the poor know this, and those of the wealthy do not .Who though, is in a better position to teach their children the value of money;someone skilled in earning and keeping it, the wealthy parent, or someone whocan not seem to acquire it, the poor parent? Both wealthy and poor children areequally likely to acquire an education in money, whether it is formal, or in theschool of hard knocks. Conversely, both children are as likely to ignore thiseducation. (101words)

  点评:

  这段的内容感觉写得不够直接,还是在分析对方观点的漏洞!请注意,前面让步段已经这么写过了,那么这一段最好是正面地论证自己的观点,这样从内容上来说更convincing 一点!

  此外,需要说明的是,大家发现作者的内容还是有一定深度,但是这是要有一定的英语功底才行的!如果英语功底不行的话,建议内容不要写太深,因为那样容易造成考官看不懂你在说什么!

  A poor child may believe that one can get along, if not as easily, withoutwealth. A wealthy child may be well trained by a parent steeped in the knowledgeof money management; the key to developing this skill is education.

  点评:

  最后一段有点像是提出解决这个问题的办法,即 education。它没有像传统的结尾段那样简单的重申自己的观点。

  最后总结:

  全文的观点有待揣摩,作者很明显是不赞成题目的说法,即 Children who grow up in families which are shortof money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life thanchildren who are brought up by wealthyparents。但是作者自己是更偏向穷人家的孩子呢,还是富人家的孩子呢?根据文章来看,作者是中立,他所看重的是他们所接受的教育。

  In other words,整篇文章又是一次中立的写法。在雅思考试中,这种写法经常使用,还是非常实用的,大家可以学习一下。

  此外,文章中有很多好词好句,特别是长句,值得模仿一下,此篇9分雅思作文。

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